Repetition. That is the name of the game here. They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, hoping for different results.
Is it really insanity? Or is it the result of watching nothing but the BabyFirst TV Channel for 3 months straight??
Now, I'm not against kids shows. In fact there's quite a charm to them. But when you can quote every line on said shows, YOU ARE GOING INSANE.
BabyFirst TV is home to what has got to be the most monotonous, obnoxious, whiny, ear-splitting characters I have ever seen. And you know what? I'm going to tear them apart for you. ONE! BY! ONE!
Is it really insanity? Or is it the result of watching nothing but the BabyFirst TV Channel for 3 months straight??
Now, I'm not against kids shows. In fact there's quite a charm to them. But when you can quote every line on said shows, YOU ARE GOING INSANE.
BabyFirst TV is home to what has got to be the most monotonous, obnoxious, whiny, ear-splitting characters I have ever seen. And you know what? I'm going to tear them apart for you. ONE! BY! ONE!
This army of annoying musical midgets is called "The Notekins." The purpose of this show is to supposedly introduce music theory and various types of musical instruments to viewers. Their names are, from right to left, Do, Re, Me, Fa, So, La, and Ti. GEE, HOW ORIGINAL!!
They look to me like a kids' version of SlipKnoT. Minus the horrific masks.
Did I mention how they sound when they all talk at once (which they do quite often)? They sound like a miniature squad of whiny demons!
Anyway, onto my next character rant.
They look to me like a kids' version of SlipKnoT. Minus the horrific masks.
Did I mention how they sound when they all talk at once (which they do quite often)? They sound like a miniature squad of whiny demons!
Anyway, onto my next character rant.
Well, if it isn't the most blatant knock off of My Little Pony! This drugged-looking equine is called Rainbow Horse.
Hey BabyFirst, The Hub Network called. They say they want their intellectual property back!
But, aside from the class-action lawsuit we'll see in a few months, let's look at some of the "educational" features of this show.
This pink... uh, thing, does nothing but swirl around and color things. That's IT. No words, no interaction, NOTHING. Just colorful visuals! They don't even say what color it's painting! It's just colors. Colors and music.
You know, I could get the same exact thing at any Pink Floyd concert with the proper amount of LSD.
As any "As Seen On TV" commercial would say, "But wait! There's more!"
Hey BabyFirst, The Hub Network called. They say they want their intellectual property back!
But, aside from the class-action lawsuit we'll see in a few months, let's look at some of the "educational" features of this show.
This pink... uh, thing, does nothing but swirl around and color things. That's IT. No words, no interaction, NOTHING. Just colorful visuals! They don't even say what color it's painting! It's just colors. Colors and music.
You know, I could get the same exact thing at any Pink Floyd concert with the proper amount of LSD.
As any "As Seen On TV" commercial would say, "But wait! There's more!"
This one is one of the MOST annoying of the bunch. Her name is Tillie Knock-Knock, and I head for my fallout shelter as soon as I hear her rearing her ugly head on my TV screen.
Okay, so imagine this. Someone knocks at your door. It could be anybody. Your friend, the Mail Courier, The UPS guy, The Department of Homeland Security, whoever! What's the first thing you do?
You drop what you're doing and answer the door. Simple isn't it?
But noooooo, we have to do it TILLIE'S WAY! First she tries to figure out where the knocking is from... She looks under the rug, behind the TV, and under her couch before it finally clicks inside her hollow cranium that someone is knocking at the door! Look if you hear knocking from any of those places except the door, RUN. Get out of the house as fast as you can! Because either you either need the Police or an Exorcist.
Oh, and when she does figure out that it's a potential visitor, she does what? Tries to guess what kind of animal is knocking at the door, based off of the sounds said animal is producing. And I'm assuming that the sounds are equivalent to "Please open the door, I'm ____" (You can insert whatever you'd like there.)
She even throws in a pseudo-cutesy "Who iiiiissssssss iiiittttttttttt?" to add effect. Excuse me? I could be bleeding on your doorstep and you're trying to guess what species I am based off of my painful gargling!
Now, onto my next victim of harsh criticism.
Okay, so imagine this. Someone knocks at your door. It could be anybody. Your friend, the Mail Courier, The UPS guy, The Department of Homeland Security, whoever! What's the first thing you do?
You drop what you're doing and answer the door. Simple isn't it?
But noooooo, we have to do it TILLIE'S WAY! First she tries to figure out where the knocking is from... She looks under the rug, behind the TV, and under her couch before it finally clicks inside her hollow cranium that someone is knocking at the door! Look if you hear knocking from any of those places except the door, RUN. Get out of the house as fast as you can! Because either you either need the Police or an Exorcist.
Oh, and when she does figure out that it's a potential visitor, she does what? Tries to guess what kind of animal is knocking at the door, based off of the sounds said animal is producing. And I'm assuming that the sounds are equivalent to "Please open the door, I'm ____" (You can insert whatever you'd like there.)
She even throws in a pseudo-cutesy "Who iiiiissssssss iiiittttttttttt?" to add effect. Excuse me? I could be bleeding on your doorstep and you're trying to guess what species I am based off of my painful gargling!
Now, onto my next victim of harsh criticism.
These two things look like something I'd call my local Orkin guy for. They're named Sammy and Eve, and they absolutely love playing Hide and Seek. But, as BabyFirst is notorious for, they HAVE to change it up. In Sammy and Eve's Hide and Seek, also known as "Find the Acorn", one of these feral rats hides an acorn in an obvious location, whilst the other looks for it. When the one doing the seeking gets close to the acorn, the other says "Warm." And when the acorn is in the immediate vicinity, the one that hid the acorn starts clapping.
Now, I'm no forensics expert, but isn't it kind of counter-intuitive to tell someone they're close to something you're trying to hide from them?
Also, their voices. I'll admit, Sammy's voice is tolerable, but Eve's voice... Oh my God EVE's voice! You couldn't find worse voice acting in an old Bruce Lee movie! [DISCLAIMER: I actually really like Bruce Lee.]
Now, I'm no forensics expert, but isn't it kind of counter-intuitive to tell someone they're close to something you're trying to hide from them?
Also, their voices. I'll admit, Sammy's voice is tolerable, but Eve's voice... Oh my God EVE's voice! You couldn't find worse voice acting in an old Bruce Lee movie! [DISCLAIMER: I actually really like Bruce Lee.]
I'm not even going to touch this one with a 190-foot pole.
And last but not least, THESE. These three abominations are the epitome of irritation. They are the Tick-Tock Mice, named Tog, Tizzy, and (this one's REAL appropriate for kids!) Toot.
If I recall correctly, and I often do, I'm pretty sure I have seen something very similar to this in an episode of Wonder Showzen (DON'T WATCH IT).
These oversized, radioactive rats do a variety of things (finally, some variety!) including pushing things around, examining various small objects, playing pretend, and singing.
As before, I HATE bad voice acting. And these little demons have the most insincere, nasal, whiny voices I have EVER heard on television. Where is the standard??? It seems for this bubonic trio, there is no standard too low for them!
Okay, so now that I have completely trashed the integrity of this show, I would like to remind you that this is meant to be a humorous post. I absolutely enjoy every moment with my son, creepy TV shows or not.
If I recall correctly, and I often do, I'm pretty sure I have seen something very similar to this in an episode of Wonder Showzen (DON'T WATCH IT).
These oversized, radioactive rats do a variety of things (finally, some variety!) including pushing things around, examining various small objects, playing pretend, and singing.
As before, I HATE bad voice acting. And these little demons have the most insincere, nasal, whiny voices I have EVER heard on television. Where is the standard??? It seems for this bubonic trio, there is no standard too low for them!
Okay, so now that I have completely trashed the integrity of this show, I would like to remind you that this is meant to be a humorous post. I absolutely enjoy every moment with my son, creepy TV shows or not.