For those of you who are unfamiliar with the U.S. Civil War, let me explain Sherman's March to the Sea. The United States Government was on a rampage against the Confederate States during this period of "Total War". General William Sherman was the head of this operation, which included the burning of Southern crops, the killing of livestock, the destruction of railroad tracks, the seizing of military camps, bases, and hospitals. What few factories the South did have were razed to the ground. This military action resulted in the eastern Confederate States' socioeconomic ruin. It took years to undo the damage caused by William Sherman's tantrum.
This is akin to how I feel today. I woke up today to Mikey scratching me. At first I just thought it was his fingernails, but when I looked, I discovered that his scratching tool of choice was the left earpiece, broken off of my glasses. This rendered my pair of glasses useless, except for the act of demolishing anthills.
When I got out of bed, I noticed another disturbing mess: part of the eucalyptus plant was ripped to shreds. At least the bedroom smelled a little nicer.
But it didn't end there. I made Mikey's breakfast and set it before him in his high chair. But -surprise, surprise- Czar Mikey didn't want anything to do with that. His reaction was to throw his food at the dogs, who promptly devoured the scrambled eggs I had prepared. At this point, I was ready to start a Bolshevik Spanking Revolution.
When Mollie woke up from her dormancy, she began to coddle Miley, and everything seemed fine...
Until Mikey began tearing her hair out and hitting her with a spoon! I was immediately reminded of Damien Thorn from The Omen.
As soon as we returned from the Breakfast Massacre, Mikey proceded to spill Mollie's glass of water.
Later, we boldly went where no man has gone before. Springfield. Mikey was mostly well behaved... until we went to my doctor's appointment. The nurse was (luckily) okay with Mikey's -dare I say it?- AnTICS. The doctor, however kept getting on to me for Mikey's spastic climbing, sprinting, crawling, cartwheeling, and Kozachok dancing.
And I'm sure there'll be more episodes to come. I think it's high time for me to invest in some heavy duty Kevlar before I become the thing Mikey decides to break.
This is akin to how I feel today. I woke up today to Mikey scratching me. At first I just thought it was his fingernails, but when I looked, I discovered that his scratching tool of choice was the left earpiece, broken off of my glasses. This rendered my pair of glasses useless, except for the act of demolishing anthills.
When I got out of bed, I noticed another disturbing mess: part of the eucalyptus plant was ripped to shreds. At least the bedroom smelled a little nicer.
But it didn't end there. I made Mikey's breakfast and set it before him in his high chair. But -surprise, surprise- Czar Mikey didn't want anything to do with that. His reaction was to throw his food at the dogs, who promptly devoured the scrambled eggs I had prepared. At this point, I was ready to start a Bolshevik Spanking Revolution.
When Mollie woke up from her dormancy, she began to coddle Miley, and everything seemed fine...
Until Mikey began tearing her hair out and hitting her with a spoon! I was immediately reminded of Damien Thorn from The Omen.
As soon as we returned from the Breakfast Massacre, Mikey proceded to spill Mollie's glass of water.
Later, we boldly went where no man has gone before. Springfield. Mikey was mostly well behaved... until we went to my doctor's appointment. The nurse was (luckily) okay with Mikey's -dare I say it?- AnTICS. The doctor, however kept getting on to me for Mikey's spastic climbing, sprinting, crawling, cartwheeling, and Kozachok dancing.
And I'm sure there'll be more episodes to come. I think it's high time for me to invest in some heavy duty Kevlar before I become the thing Mikey decides to break.